ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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