dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize