PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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