Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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