He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
