We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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