My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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