He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
