Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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