"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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