i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
