worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize