So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
