lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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