apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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