Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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