She is in my trunk
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
