I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
