? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
