Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she peed on how many people?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
