He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
