i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
