This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
