Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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