If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
