Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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