You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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