Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
