what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
