He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just cropdusted the office
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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