There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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