It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
