so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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