That's intense
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
