that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
