I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
