She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
