Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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