I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
