i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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