When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
