I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
