Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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