Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
