last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
