I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your penis caused this!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
