On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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