I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
