He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
