brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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