I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
