How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize