Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize