Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
