I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
