For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
