Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
