I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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