Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
