i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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