she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
