He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the day after is always just damage control
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You may now shotgun with the bride
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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