I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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