Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
a search helicopter?!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
