chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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