haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
