Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
