is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Say something about gay babies.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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